Joel Murphy ( @murphyschaos ) Twitter Profile

murphyschaos

Joel Murphy

Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints member. Inactive and irreverent, but I know the Church is true. A miracle has wrought a mighty change in my heart.

Louisville, KY

Joined on 28 March, 2016

  • 154 Tweets
  • 62 Followers
  • 131 Following

#WorstThingAboutMyJob is the lack of free massages.

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Quiglex Down Under #1LetterWrongAMovie

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Sara Lee wasn't born on Earth. #UnknownConspiracyTheories

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I failed the physical. #WhyImNotANinja

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Santa Bob - the Yuletide guest from the church of the flying spaghetti monster. #LesserKnownSantas

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#ICantImagineMyLife. This strange sequence of events are just too bizarre.

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#ISeemToRemember events in my past.

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#MyFavoritePairOfSocks give me the power of flight.

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#FunDangerIncludes somebody naked.

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Ever had 300 elves kiss you all over? #InSantasDatingProfile

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The Secret Life of Egg Nog #HolidaySpecialsYouWontSee

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#AWomanOwesItToHerselfTo pay for her own drinks.

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Last Man Freezing #ColdSitcoms

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#MyWorkdayPassesQuicklyWhen the rapture happens at lunchtime.

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#IfTheNutCrackerGuarded the ladies, there’d be a lot of nuts being cracked.

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#IToldEveryoneThat night, involving a trumpet, a roll of toilet paper, and an iguana, didn't have anything to do with me.

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I’m naturally warm. No, I don’t need to zip up my jacket! #HowISurviveTheCold

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Why keep doing this? #FamilyDinnersIn4Words

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