Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints member. Inactive and irreverent, but I know the Church is true. A miracle has wrought a mighty change in my heart.
Joined on 28 March, 2016
#WhenILikeYouIWill buy you sushi.
#WorstThingAboutMyJob is the lack of free massages.
Quiglex Down Under #1LetterWrongAMovie
Sara Lee wasn't born on Earth. #UnknownConspiracyTheories
I failed the physical. #WhyImNotANinja
Santa Bob - the Yuletide guest from the church of the flying spaghetti monster. #LesserKnownSantas
#ICantImagineMyLife. This strange sequence of events are just too bizarre.
#ISeemToRemember events in my past.
#MyFavoritePairOfSocks give me the power of flight.
#FunDangerIncludes somebody naked.
Ever had 300 elves kiss you all over? #InSantasDatingProfile
The Secret Life of Egg Nog #HolidaySpecialsYouWontSee
#AWomanOwesItToHerselfTo pay for her own drinks.
Last Man Freezing #ColdSitcoms
#MyWorkdayPassesQuicklyWhen the rapture happens at lunchtime.
#IfTheNutCrackerGuarded the ladies, there’d be a lot of nuts being cracked.
#IToldEveryoneThat night, involving a trumpet, a roll of toilet paper, and an iguana, didn't have anything to do with me.
I’m naturally warm. No, I don’t need to zip up my jacket! #HowISurviveTheCold
Why keep doing this? #FamilyDinnersIn4Words